(Orlando, FL) A hostage standoff was peacefully resolved when a trained negotiator from the OED talked a marker-wielding board member to temporarily allow consideration of replacing the word “promote” with “advance” in the mission statement of the Worldwide Widget Manufacturers Association.
Tensions reportedly had been running high during the association’s strategic planning session when one board member jumped from his seat, strode forcefully to the front of the room, and commandeered both the flipchart and the supply of markers from the consultant facilitating the session.
“I honestly did not know what he was going to do at that point,” said Cheryl Andrews, CAE, president and CEO of the association. “You know you need to do something, but nothing prepares you for the moment when an obsessed wordsmither goes over the edge.”
Other board members echoed Ms. Andrews’ fears. “I was shocked because we all felt like we had our Hedgehog Concept down pat and our flywheel was finally in motion. The review of the mission statement was supposed to be perfunctory and then this happened,” said another board member who wishes to remain anonymous. An initial rumor that the errant board member taped over his colleague's mouth proved false. The hotel hosting the meeting prohibits posting materials of any kind on its wall, so no tape was present.
One positive development is that Bart Jones, the dazed consultant facilitating the planning session, has vowed to form a new association for survivors of similarly traumatic strategy conversations: SAVED, the Safe Alliance for Victims of Etymological Damage.
